The Marriage and Fertility Dilemmas Facing Gay People in China—A Study of Moral Sociology Based on 7 Individual Instances

: Marriage and childbearing are always closely related to sex. The dilemma of marriage and childbearing faced by the gay community means that a revolution in sexual morality is necessary in China. The article takes the gay community in China as the research object, from the perspective of moral sociology; Combined with the unstructured interview data of 7 (4 gay men and 3 lesbians), this paper expounds the difficulties faced by this group in marriage and fertility practice.

with studies, the discord in relationships between partners is largely ascribed to the discord in sexual life and, second, to the difficulty in coming to terms with one's own non-heterosexual sexual orientation and integrating it into society.
E.Durkheim is the source of studies in moral sociology, and since his time, these fields have existed in isolation. In moral sociology, there aren't many papers on sexual morality, much less ones that concentrate on the LGBT population. In the works of sociology of sexuality, including homosexuality and heterosexuality, papers on sexual morality from a sociological perspective are only infrequently distributed in the China. The so-called "sexual morality" of the agricultural era, at the macro mainstream level, is no longer just the simple morality of sexual activities (for instance, men and women should respect and accommodate each other in sexual activities, etc.), but the morality of sexual relationships, specifically marriage morality [6] . When someone mentions sexual morality in today's society, they quickly conjure up the standards of behavior: what actions are acceptable and what actions are prohibited; what actions adhere to the moral code and what actions transgress it [7] . On the microscopic edge: Gay people attained a great level of respect in the time of the ancient Greeks. They believed it to be connected to moral, logical, and even aesthetic characteristics in addition to martial arts [8] . When it comes to sexual moral stigma: The logic of AIDS is "moral corruption--sex--AIDS," and the stigma of AIDS is acknowledged as a moral stigma based on immoral sex when the title of AIDS in China is changed to "AIDS" [9] .
The edge of the gay group confronting a moral conundrum in the aforementioned works can be summed up as the post-modern conundrum, which is the life must face, a challenging or insurmountable conundrum. This group faces the "dilemma," and the presence of the conundrum necessitates the top-level design in the sexual moral revolution. A discussion of the moral conundrum the China LGBT community is facing from the standpoint of genuine moral sociology, that is, what kinds of moral conundrums are they confronting at the level of marriage and fertility practice, is however lacking in the existing study.
The following content will be combined with specific interview materials to illustrate the difficulties they face.

Research object
On the China, of the seven homosexuals: four were gay men and three were lesbian women. Four gay men find on Blued date App, and three lesbians on Rela date App. The details of the respondents are shown in Table 1.

Methodology and particular research techniques
Although subject construction emphasizes that both researcher and the researcher simultaneously exist as the subject, it does not imply that the researcher is the only subject [10] . The field domain with a high level of privacy is where the methodological principle is used. Following the subject construction methodological principle, an unstructured interview was used for the research. The interview time was 1.5 to 2 hours, the time is once. The interviews were collected through verbal and physical interaction, with the aim of illuminating the moral conundrum that the China gay community regarding the practice of marriage and reproduction.

The moral dilemma faced by the China gay community
Homosexuality have surfaced in Chinese history during the reign of the Yellow Emperor. Homosexuality is referenced in works by Han Feizi such as "Shuo Nan Pian," "A Dream of Red Mansions," "Jin Ping Mei," "Pin Hua Bao Jian," and others [11] .
While same-sex marriage that reached the institutional level was completely intolerable in ancient China, same-sex behavior was accepted in ancient Greece and ancient China. The demands of gay people could not be given official and legal recognition by the ancient society because the role of marriage was further elevated to the maintenance of feudal authority and the adjustment of national order in the conventional system of homorphism.
In contemporary times, due to the influence of political factors, homosexual groups in China are different from those in Macao and Hong Kong. In 2014, Lin Jialong, the chairman of "Macao Rainbow", emphasized that same-sex cohabiting partners should be included in the protection scope of the Domestic Violence Law [12] . On June 6, 2019, the Hong Kong Court of Final Appeal ruled in favor of civil servant Liang Zhengang's same-sex partner enjoying the same benefits and tax treatment as his opposite sex partner [13] . It can be seen that the rights of homosexual groups in Macao and Hong Kong are gradually being realized while expressing their demands.
However, the China do not lack of voicer in gay group, social organizations representing gay relatives and friends always express demands actively. At the same time, The Standing Committee of the National People's Congress and the Legal Affairs Committee made a timely response: "the most countries in the world do not pass the legitimacy of gay marriage, so the civil code of marriage and family draft also maintains the current marriage law of monogamy [13] ." This indicates that the gay community on the China has not received adequate attention in the struggle between the fringe and the mainstream and will continue to face serious ethical issues. As a result, they will need to adopt a multifaceted survival strategy, and it is important to carefully consider the challenges they are dealing with.

Marriage dilemma
Homosexual refers to each person's ability to develop emotional attraction, sexual attraction, and intimate and sexual relationships with individuals of the same gender, divided into gay and lesbian men [15] . In today's China social setting, whether male and female, they first struggle is marriage dilemma, which is embodied in whether to change action, cater to mainstream expectations, and marry with the opposite sex. Yan Yunxiang believes that people who identify as gay wronged themselves to appease their parents and then allegedly got married. But it happens that this person has a strong sense of modern morality, feeling that marriage should not be based on deception, and he has moral guilt for the other half of the marriage. This is the moral dilemma. The moral debt to your lover is a very modern standard, and the moral responsibility to your parents is a very traditional standard. The two standards can work on a person at the same time. This is a kind of dislocation. [16] The interviewer Peng expressed such a dislocation.
"I can't rule out the influence of the secular world, and I will eventually get married and have children like ordinary people. He (G1's partner) and I had to break up with him after entering graduate school. Although affected by the epidemic, the clinical medicine major has been expanded in recent years, but I still failed to pass the exam after two postgraduate studies.  25, unemployed) For G1 in his age, the game between "self" and "integration" is the main source of the inner dilemma. However, for gay men who are married and are forced to accept marriage culture, they meet a new moral dilemma: entering a normal marriage? Or choose a marriage of convenience? Bourdieu believes that marriage exists in the relationship of family interaction. He emphasizes the many relationships established between families in the marriage field, and attaches importance to the shaping of the power relationship within the family to the marriage strategy [17] . Marriage strategy is a kind of selective arrangement of marriage behavior in modern society, which emphasizes not only the subjectivity of the implementation of the marriage subject strategy but also the construction of the objective structure, and firmly embedded the marriage life in the social structure. For gay men, Going into a "normal" marriage is a strategy they have to choose among their relationships, but this strategy is a marriage fraud from a sexism perspective. In the unstructured interview, it was found that no gay would fundamentally separate his/her homosexual lust and become a member of the so-called mainstream heterosexuality group, which is totally heterosexual and constructed by society, after he/she has entered into marriage with a person of different physiological sex. Their choice of sexual objects has developed into a "spectral" transformation. From the perspective of gender duality, gay have forced physiological gender duality in the choice of sexual objects after marriage. On the one hand, it caters to the expectations of sexual behavior under the influence of marriage culture, engaging in sexual relations with the opposite sex, especially manifested in the "bridal chamber" custom on the wedding night, in order to complete the task of inheriting the family line. On the other hand, venting emotional desires for same-sex people from deep within through social networks.
" He discovered his same-sex sexual orientation before marriage. For him, forming a marriage with the opposite sex is a marriage strategy that must be chosen in social relations. His predicament is different from G1: how to maintain the marriage life, through how to eliminate the tension of extramarital sex, cheating the spouse. From the perspective of life course, it is found that some gay people only inspire or truly confirm their same-sex sexual orientation in the life events of marriage. Their plight is similar, but the differences in the time period enable them to have different life experiences.
"Since that bar experience, I've been having sex with men, and I think I have same-sex sexual orientation deep in my heart, but I just happen to have a chance to inspire it.(Q: What do you usually do when your wife wants sex?) My wife and I have a very different social status. We met each other through blind dates and had no emotional basis. We only felt that we had reached the age when we should get married. She hardly expressed any sexual needs, but I took the initiative. Because the sexual initiative is in my hands, so I don't have much concern."(G3, 43, bank clerk) From G1, G2 and G3 interview data analysis, can be found that gay men marriage difficulties in the choice of premarital strategy and how to maintain married life, however, for lesbians, due to the long-term global horizon of gender inequality and feminist thoughts broadcast, make them exist marriage dilemma different from gay.
The marital struggles of lesbians are reflected in that, after they enter the society and their lives gradually stabilize, their parents will arrange various dating activities for them who have not yet made boyfriend, especially the young women who return to work in their towns (hometown). Faced with their parents' urging, most lesbians countered the dilemma of exposing their identity to their parents and not willing to be forced to blind date, which brings pressure to their psychological, physical and daily life. [18] " The close social network makes L1 feel the difficulty of having a girlfriend, even though she has a traditional female look. Bourdieu thinks, in the theater, habitual through the symbol of the subconscious, intuitive understanding to play a role [19] , living in the same county field lesbian L2 think their women's appearance, symbols compared with masculine intuition, provides the convenience of interpersonal communication, this convenience helps them need interpersonal activities, ease the tension in life practice.
"Few people doubt the intimate interaction between women, which may be a social phenomenon derived from the male-dominated society! What parents don't like is your too masculine look. (Q: Do you think your appearance affect your social interactions?) Yes, in the small county of my hometown, I had to cover up my T identity: long hair, gentle tone. They wouldn't doubt that image even if I interacted with women."(L2, 26, designer) To ease intergenerational conflicts with their parents, or begin to prepare to reach a transition phase of spending the rest of your life with a partner. Even if the China gay group is facing the "dilemma" of life practice, a person also began to have an ideological change and take action: many gay people choose marriage, at the same time, focus on providing marriage of convenience services network platform also appeared, rainbow-home, Chinese form marriage website and so on. From the standpoint of gay people, formation marriage seems to be the best way for gay people to solve marriage problems, but from the perspective of social governance, it is actually a deeper contempt of the rules, and ignoring the existence of this phenomenon may harm the normal operation of social order.
The marriage of homosexuals mainly refers to a marital relationship between a gay man and a lesbian, after negotiation, through legal procedures get the formation of a marriage certificate. Its main purpose is to appease the parents, avoid the "urge marriage" from relatives and friends, and avoid the gossip, which can be regarded as an equal cooperation or mutual assistance relationship. Cases have proved that marriage of convenience is not a good method, the difficulty of marriage is greater than the usual marriage, possess more pain points. "Comrades who seek marriage of convenience often have higher requirements than ordinary men and women who talk about marriage."Said Zhang Beichuan, a professor at the Medical school of Qingdao University. If you open Wechat, you will see all kinds of similar articles, such as " Why is marriage of convenience so difficult?", In the article has the following several titles: no love as the foundation, realistic purpose, find" reliable "object is not easy, a variety of legal problems, children, three or four partners difficulties, the woman's economic interests without reservation revealed the difficulties in China, and marriage of convenience is not gay group preferred strategy, but in a domain," individual "and" social " fierce game is not to compromise and choice.
The couple not only lives a double-sided life for himself, but also is a kind of behavioral betrayal for the partner who once had a soul fit. Generally speaking, in order to "integrate" into the mainstream crowd, the two parties need to form a "drama class" in the sense of Owen Goffman for collaborative performances. In the daily life in the future, they are "performing" every day, "in front of the" stage "performance for the very deep feelings of the" husband and wife ", especially in front of both parents, relatives, and without any emotional communication in private [20] .
"(Q: Even if you get married, do you keep in touch?) I can't get in touch with her at all, but her mother often sent me messages by WeChat , but I don't want to contact with her mother, this is unnecessary. Sometimes I chatted to show my respect, but she talked too much and made unreasonable demands. I did not want to reply to her " (G4, 30, sailor) The biggest wish of G4's dying parents is to see his only son get married. Relatives also urged G4 to make a marriage through the marriage of convenience market under such a structural pressure. In a similar case to him, married people also face the problem of transnational bigamy: due to the inclusiveness of marriage systems between China and abroad, they married as same-sex couples abroad and get the opposite sex married in China.
"(Q: How did you meet?) Xiaofei and I met on a cruise ship, we were both sailors.(Q: According to previous surveys, relationships between the same sex are very unstable. How can you last so long?) Although, the same-sex partner certificate was obtained in Thailand, in order to stabilize the relationship between us, we still really have no way in China. Xiaofei shaped marriage, mainly to avoid relatives gossip. My parents wish to see me get married, so I got married in China, too." (G4, 30, sailor) This kind of Marriage is not a long-term solution, because in the concept of most traditional families in China, marriage means having children. After marriage, it is the urging of both families to adopt children. In the current Chinese society with a three-child policy, parents not only demand to have children, but also have requirements for the number of births they have. Marriage is facing huge fertility pressure-have no feelings, how can you conceive through sexual intercourse? Even if they are pregnant, it is difficult to maintain their marriage life with true feelings in the future, or to end up in the form of separation or divorce, which causes harm to both families. Unless both parents have fully embraced their children's emotions, in China, the level of social civilization determines the regional differences to tolerant to their children, and the rarity of the overall number.

Fertility dilemma
"IVF, adoption, surrogacy" is a fertility strategy often adopted by homosexuals in China. For the IVF strategy adopted by both parties in marriage, it is necessary to reach an agreement and have a child. The completion of the entire process, in the traditional parental evaluation system, the children have not deviated from the track. Traditional parents believe that the children truly grow up and can take responsibility, generally meeting the expectations of the family. The risk of this strategy is that if one of the parties to the marriage breaches the contract for various reasons before giving birth, they will face a new dilemma: should legal proceedings be taken to expose the fraudulent behavior of the breaching party? But once legal proceedings are taken, concealing the marriage strategy of both parents will also be exposed. So in order to keep the 'lie' going, the non-breaching party will continue to seek ways of adoption or surrogacy.
For adoption strategies [21] . Combine the inner needs of homosexuals with the adoption policies and actual conditions in China. The dilemma of homosexual adoption in China lies in: first, for homosexuals who plan to adopt, they can only consider adoption when they are over 30 years old, which means that they can meet the expectations of their parents and the mainstream of society when they are 30 years old or later. Before they reach the age conditions for adoption, they need to take various strategies to respond to their parents' urging, which may lead to intergenerational tensions. Second, it has always been a thorny problem to adopt fully healthy children in China: most of the infants/children adopted by orphanages or welfare homes are disabled children. If homosexuals firmly adopt, it is best not to have too high psychological expectations for the quality of infants/children, but even if they can lower their own standards, parents may not be able to lower their demands. In addition, the conditions for adopters also include: adopters with spouses must be adopted by both spouses; If a male without a spouse adopts a female, the age difference between the adopter and the adoptee should be at least 40 years; The adopter can only adopt one child. In fact, the China Adoption Center will not find adoptive objects for homosexuals. As for the reason, the answer to the question about homosexuals being able to adopt children in China on the website of the Central People's Government of the People's Republic of China clearly states: "Legally speaking, the Marriage Law of the People's Republic of China only recognizes families formed by heterosexual marriage, and does not recognize the legitimacy of homosexual families, and homosexual families are not protected by law.
In China, surrogacy is a method walking on the edge of law and morality.
There are two types of surrogacy way to choose: In Chain or other overseas. In China, surrogacy technology can only be implemented in medical institutions approved by the health administration department, as well as only be used for medical treatment. It is in line with the national family planning policy, ethical principles and relevant regulations [22] . Although the evolution of the surrogacy policy from 2015 to 2020 shows that the appeal has been paid attention by social policy makers, from a macro level, surrogacy is banned on the of China. Therefore, the choice of domestic surrogacy, gays still have to take the "gray path", and the domestic surrogacy price is about from 450,000 to 600,000 yuan, 50,000 yuan more expensive than overseas.
"I don't know what to do now. It's all because I didn't have a sense of contract and didn't reach a written agreement to have a child. Now she's backing out and unwilling to have a child. She doesn't know what to do for a while, and her parents are also pressing her. (Q: What's your plan next?) When I take a vacation to find where can surrogacy, I heard that someplace exist a surrogacy market, and the price is relatively low, do you understand? (I don't know!)" (G4, 30, sailor) It can be seen that in China, for homosexual groups such as Tongge who lack legal knowledge, they need to continue socialization at the knowledge level, because the contract consciousness of surrogacy and market cognition often determine whether they can meet various presuppositions. Their dilemma at this time is not only at the macro moral level, but also includes the longer process of searching -waiting -searching -waiting again at the micro level. Once their inner beliefs collapse, all their efforts are also in vain. Overseas, according to regulations, Georgia is the only country with a mature surrogacy industry that is friendly to the LGBT community, except for the United States. When economic conditions permit, the United States is the preferred country for expectant parents to have surrogacy, which meets the needs of the homosexual population and also helps babies obtain American citizenship. However, the cost of surrogacy in the United States is also relatively expensive, with a single child typically costing around 1.3 million RMB. Georgia has a sound law on surrogacy, and the conditions are so loose that it does not even need a marriage certificate (need to bring a female partner), so it also attracts many self-identified homosexuals from all over the world. The disadvantage of Georgia is that it cannot conduct gender screening, which is illegal like China. Meanwhile, PGS/PGD screening in Georgia is usually carried out by transportation to neighboring countries [23] .
In general, surrogacy is much smoother when everything is ready. It should be emphasized that there is no need to observe from the perspective of self-identity as homosexuality. Lesbians' moral dilemma in childbirth is actually weaker than men's, and their only goal is to have a strong economic foundation and extensive social capital. Although lesbians have the advantage of natural "fertility", compared with gay men, there is no moral dilemma of "whether to find the opposite sex to complete the task of inheriting the family", especially in the social atmosphere where women's independent consciousness rises and women's rights and interests are gradually guaranteed, they, as carriers of breeding offspring in traditional families, bear the responsibility of the continuation of traditional families. There are still difficulties in the early stages of life. Therefore, in this situation, the moral dilemma faced by lesbians lies in the expectations of women's reproductive time in the family under the control of folk customs, the recognition of new reproductive methods at the legal level, and the game of choice between the two.
China has always been a country that advocates childbirth, and childbirth must be based on legally recognized heterosexual marriage. Under the influence of such deeply rooted traditional culture, the LGBT community is facing the moral dilemma described above. From the perspective of concern about the rights and interests of the so-called minority groups, in order to let homosexual groups live comfortably in China, it is urgent to take action to change their living situation: on the one hand, it is necessary to not only let homosexual groups know themselves and actively accept themselves through education, but also promote the understanding and tolerance of non-homosexual groups to homosexual groups; on the other hand, it is necessary to introduce policies to protect the marriage rights and reproductive rights of homosexual groups.

Conclusions
The contemporary sexual revolution insists on three aspects of freedom: the freedom to break free from traditional sexual behavior, the freedom to deviate from conventional sexual behavior patterns, and the freedom to pursue perfection and happiness, and live a sexual life that can fully express emotions [24] .
The contemporary sexual revolution insists on three aspects of freedom: the freedom to break free from traditional sexual behavior, the freedom to deviate from conventional sexual behavior patterns, and the freedom to pursue perfection and happiness, and live a sexual life that can fully express emotions. Under the temptation of more and more countries to legalize same-sex marriage, homosexuals with a strong sense of power in China are becoming more and more anxious -they either plan to immigrate, express their demands through extreme means, or ignore the legal bottom line, and are forced to meet their own needs individually and selfishly, or maintain a negative and self-defeating attitude towards the inaction of the government, and live in China in deep psychological difficulties. Regardless of their attitude and actions, they are actually not conducive to social stability. From the perspective of national ideology, most countries (regions) currently carrying out the reform of sex/gender and marriage systems represented by the legalization of same-sex marriage are capitalist countries (regions). China should focus on its own path and not blindly follow it. However, on September 26, 2022, the socialist country Cuba passed the new Family Code by an overwhelming majority (66.9%) in the referendum. What did Castro's daughter do when same-sex marriage was legalized? This fact brings hope to homosexual groups in China and profound thinking to marriage system research experts. A series of strategies to protect the rights of gay people represented by the legalization of gay marriage are not necessarily the best policy [25] .
A series of strategies to protect the rights and interests of homosexuals represented by the legalization of same-sex marriage may not be the best policy, nor is it the ultimate goal of the human social revolution. It is just a stage that human society must go through. The theory of gender cancellation holds that humans should not be divided into men and women at all. There are only different individuals, and there is only one "social gender" -humans. Therefore, it does not matter whether there is gender equality, but rather whether one can consider any aspect when measuring any individual, without considering whether they are male or female or a minority [26] . Marriage should pay more attention to companionship between individuals, and partnering without controlling the gender of both parties is more in line with the overall human nature from a current and long-term perspective. In the cognition of different classes, seemingly absurd deep essence, humans still have to seek meaning -physical and mental comfort, no longer facing various difficulties in life practice, seeking a moral certainty that transforms and integrates with the changes in economic and social foundations in the process of modernization.
Therefore, to explore the marriage and fertility dilemma faced by homosexual groups in China, firstly, we hope to combine sexual sociology and moral sociology at the theoretical level, link social phenomena in China today, promote the localization of disciplines, and find the moral certainty of homosexual groups in China; Secondly, at the practical level, from small to large, we are concerned about the so-called few. This concern is based on the idea that each era has its own difficulties. However, the plight of marginalized individuals in that era is more profound because their nature determines that they cannot comfortably engage in the daily life practices that ordinary people do. The easily overlooked fact is that any specific person with a certain abstract trait may become a member of the marginalized group in the development and changes of the times, and social policy makers need to take timely and reasonable care of the actions they need to take.